Dana's Diatribes - http://hooshmand.net/

Seamlessly integrate work and social networking

2010-04-25T09:55:00.004+10:00

What two forms of communication use brief, sparsely worded sentences, in a precise order, used to communicate events or a story? Powerpoint and twitter/facebook status updates! Srsly guys, why aren't more ppl doing this?

(Read from the bottom up.)

Insecure Friday

2010-04-15T20:32:00.004+10:00

I've had it with Casual Friday. Good concept but hell on us slightly/fairly/neurotically insecure people, and always results in a lose-lose-lose situation. No matter what I do, I invariably get one of three responses:

I wear a suit. Here I get comments like ‘It’s casual Friday, wear some jeans! Come on let’s casual it up’... I think this semi-jocular banter is usually so that accuser, who also feels somewhat insecure, can feel cool about being casual. Yeah, nice checkered shirt, now my eyes are bleeding.
I wear casuals: Mostly positive comments, but at least a few like ‘Hey, nice outfit! I really dig the retro 70s throwback/African safari/Miami Vice/Cuban drug lord/nerd chic/trashy underdressed look you’ve got going there’. Not sure what's intended here, but the effect of every word after 'nice outfit' is to have me weeping at and sometimes under my desk.
I go to the client: I’m neither formal enough for the partner nor informal enough for the client. Ding.

I dunno, maybe I just don't get other guys' interpretation of 'casual', which is to get a business shirt and tuck it into ill-fitting jeans. Don't get me started on the sneakers. I'd donate the mandatory $2 to charity just to see a little less of that.

Some alternative suggestions:

Pyjama Friday: Wow! Except people probably will take it as a sign to not even shower. Also, I don't actually own pyjamas (I don't see the point), so I may cause everyone else suffering in my jocks
Business Smart Casual Friday. What the hell, nobody knows what any combination of two or more of those words put together means anyway, so let's just dial up the ambiguity level
Naked Friday. Also save 15 mins in ironing and dressing. That's like 15 mins worth of a chevron-style chain of morning activities!

How to pwn the case interview

2008-12-02T12:04:00.005+11:00

It's that time of year - interview time. The following is a succinct summary of how to beat the well known consulting adversary, the case interview.

Before the interview

Don't wear a tie. Everyone knows consultants don't wear ties.
Bring two coffees up to the interview with a receipt; ask the interviewer to charge it in.
Refuse the pens offered to you and use the fake Montblanc pen you bought in Bangkok. Use red ink because it shows you have class.
Make sure you take a mocked-up business card just like the firm's cards, with the subtext ‘Prince of Strategy’ under your name.
Don't give your name. When asked your name, feign surprise that they don't know. At this point, flick your mocked-up card at them, aiming for the face, and inform your interviewer that you’re the Prince of Strategy.
When asked if you're interviewing elsewhere, don’t use stereotypes to describe those firms. Be more creative! E.g. ‘X firm has great resource sector clients, which are unfortunately full of very ugly, smelly men’ or ‘I heard Y firm’s hors d’oeuvres they serve in meetings are often stale’ or even ‘Z firm is full of horse manure eating goats’.
Use 'consultant' to describe all your former jobs. E.g. waitress = customer experience consultant, pizza delivery driver = QSR logistics consultant.
Find a way to let them know that you didn't take the job at Goldman Sachs. Pronounce it ‘Golmansax’.
Ask the interviewer why they didn't go to a better business school.
Use a joking mispronunciation of the firm’s name – it shows you are confident, witty and comfortable in the presence of awesome power. Common mispronunciations are: Bains & Co, McBain, Mickey K’s, Baker & McKinsey & Co., Boston CG or BCV.
Be clear that you’re only interviewing here because the markets are haywire, and that as soon as they right themselves, you’re outta there and into a REAL finance job.

The case interview

Say ZING!' every time you think you nailed something. (Including the handshake greeting.)
Focus on revenues. Costs are for losers!
For consumer foods cases, make sure you make a reference to Porter’s Five Sauces. The Five Sauces are ketchup, mustard, Tabasco, HP and Worcestershire. Some commentary you can provide is that some theorists have hypothesised about a sixth sauce, but say that you do not believe that oyster sauce counts as it’s only for Asians.
Forget the 4 Ps of marketing… it’s all about the 5 Ps, or better, 6 Ps. And screw the 3 Cs… how ‘bout the 5 Cs: cash, cars, champagne, chicks and Cubans! Offer the interviewer one or more of the 5 Cs.
A quick way of multiplying two two-digit numbers (say AB * CD) is to round each two digit down to the first digit (A * C), and then just pick the biggest one.
When given a coloured chart, ignore the yellow bit. It's a trick.
Take an envelope. Also take an HP-12C to demonstrate your financial nous; carefully transcribe numbers from the 12C to the back of the envelope.
Use some glim-glam buzzwords of the day to impress them. For extra points on the bravado front, couple them with suggestive innuendo, starting with the words ‘well, how’d you/how about I…!’ It will startle them into accepting any of your other recommendations because they’ll be so palatable by comparison.
All manufacturing problems can be solved with Vaseline.
Claim that you invented ‘Six Sigmas’, with the ‘s’ on the end. Show them a picture of half a dozen baby swans as an example of the Six Sigmas.
Refer to Michael Porter as ‘Michael’ constantly. E.g., ‘Michael says that the best way to solve profitability problems is to look at the value chain.’ If asked about who Michael is, ridicule them for not knowing the King of Strategy. Take the opportunity to mention that you're the Prince of Strategy (again). Flick another card at their face.
Offer to sell the interviewer a CDO or CDO-squared every minute or so, gradually lowering your prices.
Quantify everything. At the end of the interview, tell the interviewer the number of times they said 'leverage', 'granularity' or 'high-level'.
Insist that you ‘pwned’ the case once it is over. For example, ‘Well, I totally pwned that one. What next?’

Chit-chat and wrapping up

Firms are very conscious of diversity. Address this and display your wit by telling your favourite joke about someone of an ethnic, gender, religious and other minority. E.g. ‘A Muslim Arab female walks into a queer brothel…’ – the interviewer is sure to remember you with this classic.
Suggest that the reason so many people come to this firm from other firms is not from personal preference, but because they couldn't hack the up-or-out in the other firms.
When it comes to asking questions about the firm during the interview, be sure to make it clear you're in it for the money and ask about the salary. Look like you smelled something bad when they respond. Repeat the question in full as if you didn't hear the answer.
Smile! You pwned it.

Imperfect storm

2008-10-10T09:37:00.001+11:00

I'm really sick of this phrase.

Template for articles on [economy/financial crisis]

2008-10-09T16:48:00.004+11:00

Lately, all news in The Age (which isn't really produced by local reporters anymore) has been following a generic template. I think I've deduced what it is, below.

-----

In a new day of [x-year lows/surprising twists/otherwise boring local news], the market took an x.y% or x point drop, reaching x points, eclipsing all gains over the previous [insert period], which only amounted to x%. The market reached x points, the lowest since 20xy.

The Australian dollar also plunged x%, closing at xx.yy US cents. In overnight trading it reached a low of xx.yy cents, but recovered by x% to xx.yy cents by the time Australian markets opened this morning.

'The market is responding to [automatic selling/panicking/capitulation/cry-baby shareholders/speculation/hedge fund bastardry] in light of the [insert most recent event on financial markets or politics at a stretch]. There will be no doubt a correction over the next x [days/weeks/months/years]', said [corporation]'s [CEO/Chief Economist/analyst schmo] Andrew Bloggs.

Yesterday's [interest rate cut/legislation/injection of liquidity/some move by some bank somewhere] caused a minor spike in the S&P/ASX 200, which was quickly lost in todays falls.

The [insert global economic institution] has shown a positive outlook for Australia despite the gloomy economic conditions. 'We foresee an x% recovery by 20xy backed largely on Australia's strong commodities market' said [institution]'s spokesperson Jane Bloggs. 'Overall, Australia's economy is [sound/actually still fairly up the creek if you're realistic about it, though].'

Despite this, economic indicators tell a different tale. The [business confidence survey/consumer spend reports/socialist protesters on Collins street] show a decline in investor confidence over the last [insert period].

Investors are taking refuge in gold, which has seen a consequent price increase of x% over the last day, reaching a high of $xxx/troy ounce.

[AAP/Reuters/via Bloomberg]

Prime loans

2008-10-07T13:30:00.000+11:00

(I did this during my lunch break on a quiet day... but I promise, I was 80-20 about it.)

Commentary on Turnbull

2008-09-16T12:13:00.004+10:00

As I (and probably many others) foresaw last year, Turnbull has taken over the Liberal leadership in a leadership ballot called by Nelson. Some hot-off-the-wire commentary:

'Turnbull as Environment Minister only committed to X parts per million of whatever substance by 20yy, when established consensus is that you need to
commit to Y PPM and do it now.' - Environmentalist

'Rudd is leveraging his KPMG experience to implement quick hits, and is on track to reach targeted improvement margins in all of his administration's areas
within scope.' - Consultant

'F*** Rudd and KPMG, Turnbull was MD of Goldman!' - Banker

And three reader contributions by Omeed:

'Oh boy! Oh boy! Oh boy' - Political satirist

'Much easier to draw!' - Newspaper cartoonist

'Pfft... Socialist!' - Nicholas Sarkozy

Brunch at Matt's house

2008-09-14T16:05:00.005+10:00

Matt somehow outdid us in the brunch competition (which I only realised was a competition today, the day that we lost). He did this thanks to support from the new 'flame' as he called her, Christina. Well done, *clap clap*. We'll get you when you come back from Oxford.

Matt: 'Amazingly, this pancake is the best one yet! It's so full of pears and so big! And it's my turn!'

Matt gleefully pours syrup over his creation.

Em glowing in the sun and the complex nuances of flavour from Matt's tea cake.

Matt's ambassadorial style

Bienvenido a Edimburgo

2008-07-05T06:21:00.004+10:00

Whenever I'm in a country and don't understand the language (e.g. writing this from Turkey, which is the country in which I understand the least out of all the countries I have travelled!) I start remembering all the other - entirely useless - languages I know, or at least know bits of. Similarly, in Scotland, I kept speaking in my faux-Irish accent. Bloody useless.

Scotland was (as will be seen) lots of green, castles and towns that look like you could eat them. I was a bit disappointed that the castles didn't have some of the more ghoulish elements that Spanish and French ones do, like keyholes from which to pour boiling oil or molten lead on footsoldiers scaling the walls... altogether civilised. Scotland, I should point out, is no longer its own nation.

OK, onward march.

The back of Emily's head (in Edinburgh, hence the context)

Emily on the Royal Yacht Britannia. Kind of an annoyingly recent historic exhibition... it was retired in the 90s! The only surprising thing about this tour was how extravagant the boat wasn't - a pleasant surprise. Still, I got my 2p in with a comment in the visitor's book: Is this (as Her Majesty once described it) really a 'necessity'?

Emily's shot of my chest

Some of Al's friends, a couple of expressive chaps from her dance theatre group in Canadia

Alice and Jane (Em and Alice's mum) walking down Edinburgh. Em pointed out that this shows how cold it was, but this isn't a fair demonstration as I've seen that the whole family puts thermals on at the drop of a hat (and they always have a hat)

A photo Em took in Edinburgh Castle. We're all 'castled out'.

A chapel in the castle grounds - a second photo from the castle gets in because it's a good one!

I'll be the judge of Judge

2008-07-04T06:54:00.005+10:00

Getting cracking with the backlog of photos... Cambridge was the only picturesque place out of the three unis we visited (also LSE and LBS) so it's the only one I'll put photos up for! I mean, where else can you combine staying in quarters that look like they once belonged to a king and going punting along the river with a business degree. I may otherwise never get to say it's a lovely day for a punt.

Some very good friends who were also in Cambridge that day! Osama, Farnaz, Nabil and some other guy.

King's college... I think. I lose track of which college was which.

Front gate of Judge. Looks regal already. It apparently used to be a hospital!

The Judge building - a nice meld of old and new.

St John's college, where Nabil stayed. I was a bit scared of the pomp and grandeur, but the more I learned about it, the more interesting ... collegiate... it sounded. Couples are a bit of an afterthought, but are catered for at the bigger ones (like this one).

Not sure if this is for me, but who knows, I may take a punt.

Transit

2008-07-02T03:26:00.000+10:00

It's just transit, but I loved this airport. Just how I could get out of it in 15 minutes, and how there were no queues anywhere - and it was a regular day. This is how they should be. (I still maintain that there should be fewer airports and flights should be three times what they cost now - but that's a different conversation.)

Emily exhausted in Singapore. (When's she going to notice this photo?)

For a bit of equality... I wasn't doing too well either.

Emily's vivacious auntie.

Emily's auntie's son... an 11-year-old playing games on a Blackberry Pearl. Very Singapore!

Some slightly better coffee art

2008-06-01T21:54:00.004+10:00

All credit to Em for the very special early birthday gift of a six-hour training session with Barista Basics. (And it was a surprise, too!) Lots of fun, especially the second half which was on coffee art. My brother Riaz and friend Omeed came along too, which made it even more enjoyable than it already would have been.

First latte art

2008-05-29T15:30:00.003+10:00

I'm VERY proud. (I know it's not that great!)

The problem with inductive logic

2008-05-22T09:47:00.005+10:00

I'm showing this using Barbara Minto's 'Pyramid Principle', which consultants love.

(Ironically, it's difficult to show her Pyramids anything other than horizontally and fit them onto a PowerPoint page.)

Oh yeah? Well I'm a ...!

2008-05-21T23:20:00.002+10:00

This is an adaptation of the 'Oh yeah? Well you're a ___!' comeback, made popular locally by a couple of friends of mine.

Basically, I am just turning the tables back on myself. So here are some examples of when it has worked.

When my wife was theorising about there being mist on all the windows:

I know why... it's because the bath is full! There's a large body of water sitting there...
D: I'm a large body!

When a friend was talking about some business thing (I forget):

O: I wonder what their business model is?
D: I'm a business model!

And my favourite, when J was complaining about a cookie:

J: The problem is, this isn't chewy at all... it's just a chocolate rock.
D: I'm a chocolate rock!

It'll be all the rage, I'm telling you.

Saying 'talk to' at work

2008-05-14T10:09:00.002+10:00

I never knew there were so many ways of talking about talking to people. Here are some recurring (un)favourites that people say.

Let's set up some time together: I want to talk to you, but not now - in fact I can't even remember when I'm free. I may send you a series of 'Updated: ' Outlook invites.

Let's block out some time: (As above, but more likely to happen.)

Can I get a quick status update?: Hey, what are you doing? I'm your manager but I'm not really sure! Also you may not know what's going on generally.

Could you touch base with them: Speak to them for so incredibly short a time that it rounds down to zero, and thus doesn't need arranging and it's impossible to see how they can't fit it in or how you couldn't reach them.

Reach out to them: Communicate with them by any means possible.

Reach out and tickle them: As above, but more intimately.

Liaise with them: I don't understand that the French word 'liaison' has no verb. (Nor do I know what 'verbing' is.)

Can we catch up quickly/get a moment together?: Let's have a meeting with no agenda that I forgot to schedule.

Let's have a session: Dudes, let's have a totally relaxed and drawn out meeting, talking about all kinds of stuff and thinking everything's amazing. (I never smoked dope but I still know what 'session' means and think it's hilarious when people say it at work.)

I'll ping you: I'll send you an email so stunningly brief it may not even have a subject. I may include 'as discussed' in case you forget we discussed something.

I'll shoot you an email: Like above, but I'll do it RIGHT NOW!

I'll IM you: I'm so gen-y I'm always logged into three messaging clients, so I'll be flexible enough to use the one YOU use!*

* This is actually sometimes me.

Jerk!

2008-05-03T16:21:00.003+10:00

From a series of emails with my brother...

Riaz Hooshmand to Dana

Oh yeah? Well the jerk store called, and they're all out of faulty parachutes.

Dana Hooshmand to Riaz

Oh yeah? Well Germany kalt, they said not to come in winter.

Riaz Hooshmand to Dana

Ok, well feel frío to go to Spain, it's not much warmer there.

Dana Hooshmand to Riaz

But the pet store cawed, and it said to come pick up your pet crow because he's getting bored.

Riaz Hooshmand to Dana

Annoyingly, the pizza shop calzone to tell you the pizza's going to be late.

Dana Hooshmand to Riaz

I forgot - the yoghurt culture mobile, but it was a wrong number, it dialled yours accidophilus.

Pie

2008-04-30T19:11:00.002+10:00

We unwittingly invented a game a couple of weeks ago. Along the line of email forwards, but more interactive and more fun.

It all started when J at work told L 'Why do you keep CCing me on all these emails?'

L replied 'I just keep you informed. You know... FYI.'

So I sent L this email:

L,

Pi is roughly
3.1415926535897932384626433832795028841... (etc., I pasted in 1000 places)

J, FYI.

J was annoyed and confused. So he replied:

I then said:

The following are the highlights from the rest of the email trail, with others chiming in occasionally (RJ towards the end).

J:

Me (kind of an in joke):

Me again (I'm a little enthusiastic):

J:

L chimes in!

J with one that swamped me for a while, before I googled it:

Me with what I discovered (in a workplace with lots of Indian and US nationals) is an Australianism:

J being gross:

Me with one I was sure the Americans would get. But they didn't:

L being abstruse:

RJ starts with a great one!:

J with a picture that looks like a volcano (pyrotechnic?) but isn't:

RJ with an inspiring contribution:

J with a killer - loved it:

Me with one I was VERY proud of:

J with one I would never have gotten if it weren't for the filename in the trail:

RJ with one that had to be done:

Me with one that was greeted less warmly than I expected:

J with the grand slam. Ending the trail.

Bike sale, ride and death

2008-04-15T20:18:00.002+10:00

It has been a big week in motorbikes: my first sale, my first ride in a year, and the first death I've seen.

I sold my Honda CB900 Bol D'or to a lucky man on eBay for less than half what I bought it. I watched it go and said goodbye to an era, and also goodbye to a lot of repairs and risk I couldn't afford.

I rode on my friend J's Triumph Sprint tonight, when he gave me a lift home from work. It was welcome because it's quicker than the taxi I would have otherwise taken, and more fun.

And just beforehand, I saw a dead man. I assume it was a man - statistics let me do so. Just outside my building near Latrobe and William, a man - according to my colleague, who saw the whole thing on a smoko - hurtled east up Latrobe st doing a fast wheelie on what looked (to me, at night in the wreck scene) like an MV Augusta sportsbike. (Maybe another that comes in red and grey fairing.) He hit a four wheel drive. The bike went under it. When I saw him from my 16th floor window, from which I could see the whole scene, he had a sheet over him and was in the same position for hours, under the sheet, before an ambulance took him away on a stretcher. I assume he was dead.

Shocking and senseless way to go. It puts the sale and the ride in perspective: relieved for the first, but still grateful for the vicarious and occasional fun of the second. I don't think I'll be riding for a while.

Angry crazy religious guy

2008-03-16T20:35:00.004+11:00

The fasting month is the time of year when I most seem like a crazy religious guy. An angry crazy religious guy. It's unfortunate that a side effect of fasting, which brings religious guy out to the surface, is to lower blood sugar, which makes me short-fused and irritable... not a good combination with 'crazy religious'. Think I should shave this beard.

It's not crazy though. Let me explain in conversational style. This is how it usually goes:

Other person: Hey, wanna go for coffee/lunch/a drink?
Dana: I'll come with for the company, but actually, I'm fasting.
Other: What? Why? (looking at my waistline) You don't need to fast!
Dana: No no, it's for religious reasons, not some crazy diet...
Other: Oh OK. Is that like Ramadan?
Dana: Kind of, but it's not, because I'm not Muslim, I'm Baha'i.
Other: (not wanting to admit he/she is confused as to what being bi has to do with it): OK. So is it some kind of atonement?
Dana: Dude, if i were trying to atone for something, I'd probably never stop fasting. No, fasting is an act of faith. There are other benefits, like self-control, and getting all mystical and spiritual, but really, it's about faith.
Other: Cool. So for how long do you fast?
Dana: Nineteen days.
Other: WHAT? You can't eat for NINETEEN DAYS?
Dana: No, we don't eat or drink just from sunrise to sunset! But that whole period goes for nineteen days.
Other: Ohh. So you can have water though right?
Dana: Nope, nothing. We can't eat or drink.
Other: What? No water? (horrified look) That's dangerous! It's dangerous not to drink, I know because I read it in an article in [some random periodical].
Dana: It's not that bad. And if I start to feel sick/dizzy or get a headache I'll have a drink.
Other: OK. But it's still dangerous. (pause) Wait so you can't even coffee?
Dana: (Am I that obvious a caffeine addict??) Nope.
Other: That's hardcore... how long to go?
Dana: Until March 21, so four days. Four more days...

Yeah, it is pretty hardcore. I'm hardcore.

As a side note, I think I'm off coffee! It's almost as liberating as it is tragic.

Easiest language ever

2008-02-12T22:10:00.000+11:00

So much to say about Malaysia, so I'll break it up by starting out with my favourite topic: language.

Here are the top five reasons why Bahasa Malaysia (and its twin sibling, Bahasa Indonesia) is a really good language to learn.

1. No conjugation. Verbs stay the same. Latin languages, Arabic and even Persian are insanely complex. English is confusing because there are more exceptions than rules (e.g. I think, I thought). In Malay it's saya mahu, awak mahu, dia mahu - 'mahu' (want) stays the same.

2. No complex plurals. Words stay the same in singular or plural. You can double words up to indicate plurals (e.g. kucing-kucing - cats) but you don't have to.

3. Standard 'Roman' alphabet. Not even any fünnŷ áccènts on the letters!

4. Pronunciation is simple to learn - the language is entirely phonetic, with a few rules (Bahasa Indonesia is entirely phonetic, I'm told). And every consonant and vowel exists in English, making it easy to pick up.

4. Numbers are simple decimal, unlike unintuitive systems like French, and they're written in numbers I recognise, unlike in Arabic or Chinese.

5. Spoken (along with Indonesian) by over 300 million people. Compare that with French, spoken by 400 million and Spanish, by 500 million.

Every kid in Australia should learn this.

These our fellow Australians

2008-02-12T22:07:00.000+11:00

Not much point quoting it, but I'm looking forward to being part of an historic moment in Australia's history tomorrow when Prime Minister Kevin Rudd delivers his 'sorry' speech, already published in The Age. This could be a 'make it' moment for our new PM to show some sincerity and poise in delivering a speech. On a personal (not political) note, I hope he rises to the challenge and unique opportunity.

How to hire for value

2008-01-09T15:50:00.001+11:00

Forget trying to figure out how good someone is. Let the market do the talking.

The three signs of a miserable job

2008-01-09T11:38:00.000+11:00

A friend of mine got a book called 'The three signs of a miserable job' (by Patrick Lencioni, 2007)as an end of the year present from his boss! It’s a good book. It shows three things that lead to job misery.

The definitions, according to author Patrick Lencioni, are as follows.

Anonymity: People cannot be fulfilled in their work if they are not known. All human beings need to be understood and appreciated for their unique qualities by someone in a position of authority. People who see themselves as invisible, generic, or anonymous cannot love their jobs, no matter what they are doing.
Irrelevance: Everyone needs to know that their job matters, to someone. Anyone. Without seeing a connection between the work and the satisfaction of another person or group of people, an employee simply will not find lasting fulfillment.
Immeasurement: Employees need to be able to gauge their progress and level of contribution for themselves. They cannot be fulfilled in their work if their success depends on the opinions or whims of another person, no matter how benevolent that person may be. Without a tangible means for assessing success or failure, motivation eventually deteriorates as people see themselves as unable to control their own fate.

Mr Lencioni suggests that if people know who you are at work, if your work feels relevant to someone else’s satisfaction (a customer, shareholder or whatever) and your job is measured in a way that is linked to how well you do it, then any job can be made satisfying. I think he’s on to something.

Of course, just as a miserable job isn’t a bad job, a satisfying job isn’t the best one.

New Year's Day at the Fleischers'

2008-01-03T11:43:00.000+11:00

The highlight of the new year started with New Year's Day.
I now know I'm connected with my friend Gideon in three directions:

We met at the first Accenture function I went to - the grad recruiting drinks. He was the first person I met in the company. We quickly realised that he was born in Haifa (where I lived for 1.5 years) and that I spoke a little Hebrew (it's getting better - will be conversant by June '08).
His very close friend Josh spent six months in Mildura working as an 5th year med student with my brother, Riaz, as an intern, where they independently became friends
The parents of his girlfriend Roni, Genya and Leon, are friends with Sarah and Joe Mar, Baha'is who are very good friends with Emily's mum, Jane. We actually met Genya and Leon at a party about a year ago.

On top of that, two of the people who work for Leon are Baha'is, one of whom we know distantly. That's a LOT of connections.

Josh and Gideon

Roni's mum Genya, with me peering into the cup of Turkish coffee she was reading

Emily peering into a cup too - also with Roni and a very interesting guy named Aviv in the background

NYE '08

2008-01-03T11:37:00.000+11:00

Some photos we took with our tiny Casio camera on NYE. They came out OK, just don't look at Anth's stunning SLR shots.

Me and Em (we moved but that makes it look cool

The ferris wheel - I like it more on fire than I do when it's functional.

You know you're a consultant when...

2007-11-28T09:04:00.000+11:00

It's a fairly basic form of humour, but that's why I could spit it out last night in 10 minutes before going home. Smiles laced with cynicism.

So, you know you're a consultant when...

Your first instinct is to storyboard it.
You feel comfortable with asking a total stranger from the client who is six levels above you to do something time consuming, tedious and costly at no notice at all.
'Free' means it's not on your budget.
You never directly say 'No, I can't do that.'
You reply 'busy, busy...' to 'how're things?'
Meeting reminders make your phone beep more than text messages.
You feel like most of the city (and the client) is underdressed.
You're tempted to use Excel to compare anything with anything.
You say 'we', never 'I', but actually mean 'you' will do x, y or z.
You take more than two seconds to answer 'So, what do you do?'
You are afraid to answer phones on the weekend in case it's work.
Green seems too optimistic and red too negative: most things in life are yellow.
You think people are joking when they say 'So, when do you take lunch?'
You always have another hidden agenda behind the hidden agenda you reveal.
Hold music succeeds in calming you down because you're forced to pause.
You walk fast - really freaking fast.
Your white blood cells are caffeine addicts.
You feel homeless compared to your other professional friends.
Productivity is redundant beside chargeability.
You could pack everything on your desk into a bag in 5 minutes or less.
Your idea of an amazing client is one who signs everything you give them.
You find being paid to sit around doing nothing really stressful.
You have a highly respectable job but no work number.

My hilarious family

2007-11-07T19:23:00.000+11:00

I thought I was being funny enough. As usual, my brother Riaz more than rose to the challenge. (Read from top down, in case you're used to reading email trails going from bottom up - that ticks me off no end.)

From: Dana
To: Riaz
Date: 6 November 2007

I had equestrian to ask you today but you didn't cup to the party!

There was heaps of food, way too much, enough for me to thoroughbred roll at Ash randomly (but he steed out of the way and didn't notice).

Neigh, Arabian to take some leave over Christmas? Em and I want to go to Tassie to hike. We'll probably go derby Tiger air, they have some good deals. I saw flights for $65 each way, I thought 'you must be jockey!'

We'll talk about this later. -D

From: Riaz
To: Dana
Date: 7 November 2007

Hay Dana,

Sorry, I was with Sara, she already had a bookie made for dinner. We ate some good stakes and for dessert I had a Flemington, which I tried not to gallop down. I love to equine and dine with a good friend, or friends, especially ones hoof known me for a while. Was anyone I know there? How about Punter? I hate Melbourne Cup, I nearly hit a bunch of pedestrians because the drunken cox plate footy right in the middle of our street!

Anyway, I might have had fun, but I'm not saddle didn't go.

- Riaz

Idyllic Sydney

2007-11-06T13:41:00.000+11:00

Em and I spent the weekend in Sydney attending Matt's engagement. It was unexpectedly fun and overwhelming seeing old high school friends - the flood of memories is still rushing through me.

Better than the floods of water that thrashed Victoria the same day.

We had some great family time. Emily and I enjoyed playing Koosha's 'Wii' and listening to her grandpa's stories about descending from the Sung dynasty and how all our honest relatives have been wronged.

Visited other friends - Lara and Juan from Accenture, and Geraldine from Bakers with James from CSIRO. Had a great time meeting and talking with a few intelligent, articulate and experienced young people! Lara and Juan live in SYDNEY - you can see why I put that in capitals from the panorama I made of the view from their balcony.

Alien vegetable

2007-11-02T11:51:00.000+11:00

What the heck is this vegetable??

I bought it at the Farmers' Market at the convent on Abbortsford Rd.

All I recall about it was that it apparently roasts up really nicely. I'm supposed to chop off the external skin and eat the flesh inside it, something like that. I can't remember it's name for the life of me.

Anyway, I'll eat it over the next few days and see how it goes.

(Update: it's a kohlrabi!)

As for the market: it was nice, and had a lot of gourmet quality produce from regional Victoria. The upshot of the market is the quality of the food and that everything is in season in Victoria. The downshot is that you can't get other stuff in season in Australia like pineapples and bananas. Another downshot is the prices - we spent $75 without clearly having the right things for a meal!

In short I think I prefer the Vic market model. I love watching where people go and seeing the market operate live, seeing supply and demand swing week-to-week and sometimes getting amazing strawberries at $1 a punnet and sometimes being shocked by $7-a-kilo bananas, and disassociating personality from product (at the farmers' market I felt a bit awkward about not buying something after trying it or talking to the producer). And the deli section's stunning range, very high quality and often attentive and patient service.

I've finally graduated!

2007-10-28T14:43:00.001+11:00

No longer just a 'graduand'!

After seven long years. Engineering and Law. I actually had the longest degree in the list of graduates when you include the details - but I won't here. I felt a little smug though - a little something to recognise that I was one of the older law grads and one of the longer-serving students.

Em snapped that fantastic photo. I won't be wearing silk again in a while, especially as I have no ambition to pursue law, so not until I finish my masters.

For more pictures of the family who came, click on the picture below.

One Laptop Per Child

2007-10-28T14:22:00.000+11:00

Our converging global community has to be based on two fundamental principles: love and justice.

Justice has many aspects, but among them are principally the rule of law, education, respect for human rights and the distribution of wealth.

A key enabler for these aspects (particularly education and many human rights) is access to technology and communications. That's why I'm interested in the media and communications industry, and that's why I suppport the One Laptop Per Child project.

Have a look... this was an ambitious project that started years ago with many setbacks that looks like it's getting off the ground.

John Ilhan - gone!

2007-10-24T08:35:00.000+10:00

I can't believe John Ilhan has passed on at the tender age of 41. A first-generation Turkish immigrant who grew up in Broadmeadows with a self-made asset pool of $300 million, he, like NAB CEO Ahmed Fahour, was one of my secret heroes.

I too am the son of migrants, trying to make it in a new world for our family. I'm not a Muslim, but I identify with those who have religions, backgrounds, skin colours, families and names that make us just a little bit different. We're the colour in Melbourne's cultural palette.

John (born Mustafa) left an arts degree and started his own mobile dealership at age 25, and made his success by being very savvy and getting into the mobile industry at it's upswing in the early nineties.

He was known for being a warm person and for being very generous in his philanthropy. He leaves behind a wife and three children. He died of an apparent heart attack out on a jogging track near his home in Brighton.

I'm mourning the loss of one of a rare breed - my middle-eastern brothers who pushed through the barriers in corporate Australia.

TZU and the Film Festival

2007-08-05T12:44:00.000+10:00

Totally in awe of TZU. Saw Joel at Fusion in May (see some previous post), then in Words from the City and then the afterparty at the Ding Dong Lounge. He's sharp, astute, witty and easy-going.

I'm a bit starstruck, and after buying one of their albums and committing to buy another one (thank you SDF June '06 - that Sanity voucher you got me for my birthday is going to good use!) I think I smell another hip-hop phase going on. I'm even wearing a hoodie RIGHT NOW.

Stand-out song performed in the film and live was 'Cowboys' from last year's LP 'Position Correction'. Go listen to it live (or if you like, onilne at their website, but it's never the same that way).

Pot of Gold

2007-08-04T16:26:00.000+10:00

The rainbow used to end on Telstra. Maybe that building next door, where it's ending now, should be our next client?

(PS The rainbow actually was even more spectacular, a 360 degree one, but that didn't come out in the photo.)

Last week's pearlers

2007-07-27T12:46:00.000+10:00

While I find the old/buy a new memory card reader for the Sony camera, here are two pearlers from people I know (with context).

Afrooz: Where's Emily?
Dana (frustrated): I don't know! Aren't I good enough? Why does everyone keep asking where my wife is?
Af: Because you're a unit.
Dana: I am not a eunuch!
Luke: You might as well be if you don't know where your wife is.

And then:

Dana (washing dishes): I'm always worried that my the edge of my ring will scratch the cutlery.
Emily: Shouldn't you be concerned that the dishes will scratch your ring?
Dana (sarcastically): I actually have more faith in the strength of our marriage than that...
Emily (sighs at my remark): You know, this marriage is taking the edge off my ring.

Something like that, anyway.

Corporate language

2007-07-12T17:16:00.000+10:00

Whole books have been written on corporate buzzwords and on sloppy language. What doesn't exist is a corporate phrasebook. This is the beginning of such a book.

The following are five phrases in 'corporate', translated to 'human'.

Corporate: Looking at the product, just coming from a pricing perspective, wanted to know what your thoughts might be?
Human: How much does it cost? (You can use this general structure to ask any question.)

Corporate: So, what I want to get out of this meeting is an update from your point of view of any items on your agenda that we discussed from last meeting.
Human: Who are you, and why are we here?

Corporate: Can I suggest that we create a glossary as an appendix to our document, just to signpost any complex terminology for the benefit of our client to promote a quicker sign-off.
Human: I don't understand any of the words you're using.

Corporate: Can you send me a meeting invite and schedule in a MeetingPlace session, and email me the session ID and password?
Human: What's your phone number?

Corporate: I had a look at your 300 page document, and it all looks fine - but what about this [ultra specific number/figure/diagram]? Are you sure that's right?
Human: I understand nothing but that number/figure/diagram.

It's ridiculous how many of these I have learned in only a few months.

Four phases of not having a TV

2007-07-03T12:15:00.000+10:00

I had a TV in my office for the last two weeks and I didn't even notice it was there. I think my mind forgot what they are!

Here's a summary of my experiences:

2004: Withdrawal
2005: Resignation
2006: Contentment
2007: Smugness

Last year I may have apologised to my friends who work in or with TV; this year, I wouldn't bother.

Microfinance consulting

2007-06-25T17:39:00.000+10:00

I learned about Unitus a few weeks ago at work, and looked them up today.

Here is their mission:

Our Mission
Our mission is to fight global poverty by increasing access to microfinance.
Unitus envisions a world where microfinance is available to every individual. We work toward this vision by accelerating the growth of the world's highest-potential emerging microfinance institutions. We provide capital investments and capacity-building consulting, thus empowering these organizations to scale and provide life-changing financial services to dramatically more of the world's working poor.

They also provide consulting services to microfinance institutions (MFIs).

As part of the Unitus-MFI partnership process, we set growth goals that are often ten times the MFI’s current size. Because the MFIs’ preexisting operating capacity will not sufficiently support such growth, Unitus helps the MFIs expand and strengthen their current policies, procedures and systems, starting as soon as the Unitus-MFI partnership is announced.

I'm COMPLETELY inspired.

Birthday brunch (take 2)

2007-06-24T12:19:00.000+10:00

Just a few photos from the brunch we had at George St Cafe, right near my house. I had an absolutely amazing serve of Canadian pancakes which I wish I took a picture of!

'You never update your blog!' she said. I'll give YOU an update.

Emily and Riaz enjoying the absolutely enormous cake serving. It was huge. We couldn't finish it between around 6 of us. Yeah, Em probably won't like this photo being up here but it's the only one I took with her.

Corinne quietly absorbing. I realised I have known her for longer than most of my friends!

Ivan telling it how it is (or how he thinks it should be). Always a wealth of opinions, and they seem to evolve, too.

Great company, great food... great day!

Corporate flattery

2007-06-13T09:38:00.000+10:00

I was flattered in a very office/corporate way when a new hire I sent an email to emailed me back with the same signature format!

The font's different, and there are a few more details - but the icons, phone number format and the tastefully discreet 80% grey - aha! No question.

Only possible in firms where we're allowed a little creative licence, of course.

(*name changed, of course)

Development and Africa

2007-06-03T14:25:00.000+10:00

Really good article: here.

Here's a teaser:

It is what development researcher Paolo de Renzio calls "one of the basic paradoxes of aid: countries that most need aid are the ones least likely to use it effectively, given that they are plagued by conflict, mismanagement or outright corruption".

Consultants on consultants

2007-06-02T16:47:00.000+10:00

Two kinds of charts consultants like: 1) bubble charts, and 2) 2x2 matrices.

Even when describing themselves.

Weekend weggies

2007-05-27T23:31:00.000+10:00

What we cooked on the weekend...

Stuffed zucchini on baked cheese polenta

Veggie sausages with oregano and mushroom gravy on mashed potato

Feel good food!

(OK, so these pictures are out of the book. But it looked just like this - I swear!)

The Alpacary

2007-05-27T23:12:00.000+10:00

What's wrong with this picture? (Aside from the Alapacas looking like zulus coming over the horizon)

Funny looking animals...

My career

2007-05-24T14:47:00.000+10:00

A lawyer, an investment banker and a consultant all looked at a glass of water on a table.

'It's a liability,' said the lawyer, moving it away from the table's edge.

'It's an opportunity,' said the banker, filling the glass to the brim.

'I can help fully leverage its assets,' said the consultant, drinking the water.

Bacon?

2007-05-24T10:40:00.000+10:00

Big, gruff, middle-eastern Butcher: Yes?

Dana: Do you have any bacon hocks?

Butcher: ... Vhat?

Dana: B-a-c-o-n h-o-c-k-s, do you have any...

(It then clicked with me, but it was too late...)

Butcher: Only chicken, beef and lamb.

...

Idiot, Dana. Idiot.

A rapping high court judge!

2007-05-08T14:11:00.000+10:00

Emily and a few friends organised this together (with MAV etc etc). It went off more than anyone expected.

Kirby J gets down into the crowd. Check out that jacket!

Short film clip of Justice Kirby rapping coming soon...

The Musical We Had to Have

2007-05-05T23:24:00.000+10:00

What a STUNNING show.

I laughed so much that I cried at times.

Highlights:

An incredible performance by Eddie Perfect, first as John Hewson (in an MC battle representing his 'unloseable' election) and then as the tear-inducing Alexander Downer getting funky with 'I'm a little bit freaky' - oh my God. I nearly died laughing.
Seeing Keating's cocky swagger and smarmy wit turned into charming and swinging music and dance (by Mike McLeish), especially the groovy reggae 'Coz I'm da ruler of da land'
John Howard (Terry Serio) that rang so true it hurt, down to hand gestures and head movements. 'Welcome aboard the mate-ship' was pure gold.

I have waited years to say this, but it was sold out through 2005 and I was away in 2006. Worth it.

My morning run

2007-05-04T13:19:00.000+10:00

I went for a run this morning, as I usually do, but today decided to take my camera. I live in a beautiful city, and am blessed with spectacular scenery for my morning runs. It's even more special before dawn.

The following is a chronological selection of what I see on one route I take.

Fitzroy gardens (and the bench where I leave my jumper and sometimes stretch)

St Patrick's Cathedral

The Salvation Army Printing Works building and the East Melbourne Synagogue

The Princess Theatre

Parliament of Victoria

Melbourne City Museum, Spring St

Fitzroy Gardens and the Conservatory (to the right)

The city through Fitzroy gardens

Bike news

2007-04-25T18:00:00.000+10:00

I moved my bike.

It is now at our new Grey St apartment. How it got here, when it won't start? I pushed it up three floors of underground parking - all 240kg of it - by myself. Well, nearly by myself.

Hey, I could have. Seriously. It's a gorgeous ANZAC day, I'm feeling happy and strong after my run, and thus ridiculously confident in my own strength. And it's like any challenge to myself: once I start, I'll make myself stop, no matter freaking what.

Luckily though, I put off this task for so long today that the Magpies had done their thing at the MCG by the time I was at the first basement. So two guys back from the footy (no doubt also feeling tough after two hours of sweat and screaming) helped with the second half of the last incline - which was also the steepest. It'd have taken a while for me to inch up that one alone.

Which brings me to my next point: Bike for sale! A 1981 Honda CB900, some attention required. Bring a trailer.

Reciprocity

2007-04-19T20:43:00.000+10:00

One element of a balanced relationship is reciprocity: make sure you pay in quid for every bit of quo.

Having said that, here are seven things that Emily has learned about me since living together:

I don't want to answer more than one yes/no question (and even that had better be urgent) while I'm on the can. It is 'me' time, and the only way I'm ever going to get through 'Mao's Last Dancer'.
I know it's been in the fridge for ages, but I'll still probably eat it.
The towel that is nearest to me when I finish my shower is my towel!
I can be a bit of a bastard when I make fun of her. I don't know why she's surprised to find this out only after we got married...
I like washing the dishes, but hate putting them away. (This works out perfectly, because she likes to file everything.)
I'll parade about in them if I want, ok? I keep fit; I'm happy with the way I look, though perhaps a little too happy.
And finally: I'm being quiet because the last thing I said was a pretty good joke, and I'm going to wait here until you get it.

I'm really grateful for the reading holder that Em installed in the bathroom, too.

Doctor joke

2007-04-12T21:53:00.000+10:00

I made this joke up on the tram and SMSd it to Riaz.

Q: What does a duck call an incompetent doctor?
A: 'Quack'. That's what they call everything.

Easter long weekend

2007-04-10T20:29:00.000+10:00

Horseriding, camping, swimming. See pictures below.

The ridiculously idyllic sight of us both on horseback on the beach

Me (clandestinely taking photo of Em on horse)

Bei somehow luring Ivan

Sea creatures

Ivan in the water

Lessons I've learned

2007-04-07T18:05:00.000+10:00

People often ask the difficult-to-answer question: 'So, how's married life going?'

Difficult because there are so many ways to answer this question.

So here are seven things I've learned about living with Emily since getting married:

When we are tired, speak very slowly and clearly so as not to make mistakes or confuse her. Avoid jokes.
Also avoid jokes when she has that serious look in her eye. They'll just be lost in the void, anyway.
If she has written it on a list, then it MUST be done!
After a cup of tea or coffee, her bladder runs like a Lamborghini: zero to one hundred in four seconds. Don't stray far from bathrooms.
It's really, really great for me to make dinner, but make a salad too and I will achieve superhuman status and can expect doe-eyed looks.
It may have been a crazy day and it may be 11:45 pm, but listening to her for five minutes about how she is will make me only slightly more tired but will make her infinitely more calm.
Yes, if I'm making them, then of course she wants a pancake too!

I expect I'll be adding to this list.

Finally - wedding photos!

2007-04-06T18:56:00.000+10:00

They're finally up!

Have a look at our wedding photos here.

Four weeks already

2007-02-03T01:40:00.000+11:00

Four weeks since I got married. Time to start posting the lead-up and the event itself! Starting here - this is our invitation (private information removed). Thankfully, the time spent picking papers, layouts and even typefaces have been rewarded by positive comments!

No more IXP!

2007-02-03T01:29:00.000+11:00

In today's business news...

A Thomson Financial bank customer survey reported CBA client Tom Jones to have 'no satisfaction'
White Wings opened the reporting season with an 87% increase in half-year profiteroles
BeWiived Nintendo copywriter Wiindy Wiiliams, Wiives her Wiikplace after 'Wii too many Wiik 'Wii'-related jokes'

(I need a new outlet)

Rubbery faces

2007-01-29T08:45:00.000+11:00

Rescuing deleted files on a Mac: Lessons I've Learned

2007-01-29T08:24:00.000+11:00

It was a fairly traumatic Sunday. Many lessons on Mac OS X data recovery learned, which I'll share.

Background

It turned out that when you drag a folder icon from the Finder window toolbar somewhere, it creates a 'hard' link, NOT a shortcut.

On the command line a hard link is made with 'ln [source] [target]', whereas a symbolic one - akin to a Windows shortcut - is 'ln -s [source] [target]'.

DELETING THIS LINK MEANS YOU DELETE THE ORIGINAL FOLDER! I found this out the hard way, after I deleted my Ethics lecture notes, just days after my last class ever.

Deleted data on a Mac (HPFS+ filesystem on OS X Tiger) is, like under FAT drives, not immediately written over. The space is made 'available', but the data remains without the benefit of any descriptors - i.e. the file name, creation and modified dates etc. are lost.

However, Macs (like other unixes) LOVE 'scratch space' on the hard disk, and write files all over the shop, willy-nilly. Browsers write to hard disk cache, email software saves emails, and the operating system uses its system cache which is usually in the gigabytes. So the space where a deleted file still exists can - and often will - be quickly written over.

Thus Rule no 1: STOP EVERYTHING.

Factual background

I had deleted the folder in question days earlier. I had made a convenience link (a hard link, a not soft, 'shortcut' link) to my desktop, which I decided to delete to reduce clutter, which deleted the original folder as it was a hard link.

Since then I had used my computer for hours, including downloading about 500MB, transferring 150MB in photos and then tinkering with them.

The lost file was less than 1MB in size - a tiny file that easily could have been written over.

Many message boards online advised that experience showed that data would usually be irrecoverable.

Solution

Internet (market) consensus (a shallow-minded, sheep-like, often expensive but quick research method) has it that Data Rescue II is the best Mac Os X data recovery software on the market. It retails at $99. I got a copy.

Twenty minutes later, it showed thousands of files I could recover, some of which I deleted months ago. They were categorised by document type - so I went into the list of 'office' files, undeleted the 38 Microsoft Word files. I tried opening a few.

And there it was!

Just finished: Thank you for Smoking

2007-01-16T18:33:00.000+11:00

This is the best film I have seen in a while.

Nick Naylor is a corporate marketing anti-hero, whose job is to make tobacco companies look good. He does this by twisting modern marketing, amazing spin, simple language and empty but convincing argument in a fascinating expose of the fallacies of modern capitalism.

Here's one quoted dialogue that captures a lot of it, between Nick and his son, Joey.

Joey: So, what happens when you're wrong?
Nick: Well, Joey, I'm never wrong.
Joey: But you can't always be right.
Nick: Well, if it's your job to be right, then you're never wrong.
Joey: But what if you are wrong?.
Nick: Okay, let's say that you're defending chocolate and I'm defending vanilla. Now, if l were to say to you 'Vanilla's the best flavor ice cream,' you'd say...?
Joey: 'No, chocolate is.'
Nick: Exactly. But you can't win that argument. So, I'll ask you. So you think chocolate is the end-all and be-all of ice cream, do you?
Joey: It's the best ice cream; I wouldn't order any other.
Nick: Oh. So it's all chocolate for you, is it?
Joey: Yes, chocolate is all I need.
Nick: Well, I need more than chocolate. And for that matter, I need more than vanilla. I believe that we need freedom and choice when it comes to our ice cream, and that, Joey Naylor, that is the definition of liberty.
Joey: But that's not what we're talking about.
Nick: Ah, but that's what I'm talking about.
Joey: But... you didn't prove that vanilla's the best.
Nick: I didn't have to. I proved that you're wrong and if you're wrong, I'm right.
Joey: But you still didn't convince me.
Nick: Because I'm not after you. I'm after them. (pointing elsewhere)

Simple. Stupid. Brilliant.

Home

2007-01-08T18:49:00.000+11:00

Home on a relaxed Sunday

Rarity in a perfect hot mocha on a cool January day

My brother, Riaz

Story from Year 8

2006-12-26T13:15:00.000+11:00

I was cleaning out my house, and found this relic of Year 8. My English teacher had instructed us to maintain balance between dialogue and description in our short stories. I decided to ignore her advice.

Jobe walked into a bar. He sat at the bar, and after thinking for a while, he appeared to reach a decision.

'I'll have a double soda squash with a spike of ginger tinted vodka orange rind, a dash of port, a cherry on a stick and a floating umbrella, all served with a twist of lemon in a crystal half pint glass.'*

'Coming up!' hollered the bartender. Jobe spotted a likely table to sit down at, but changed his mind when he saw the very apparition of beauty, nay, a sparkling angel come to cure him of his wafting singularity. He thought of a good pick-up line and sauntered over to the table.

'Hi,' he said casually, hoping that the girl would respond to his carefully crafted words, created and designated for this sole purpose.

'Hi,' said the girl, whose name was Suzi.

'Hi,' commented Jobe.

'Hi,' muttered Suzi.

'Hi,' screamed Jobe.

'Hi,' expostulated Suzi. Jobe swore and ordered a drink.

'You've already ordered a drink,' the bartender sighed.

'So where is it?' asked Jobe.

'Right here,' said the bartender, producing a double soda squash with a spike of ginger tinted vodka orange rind, a dash of port, a cherry on a stick and a floating umbrella, all served with a twist of lemon in a crystal half pint glass of outstanding quality.

'Hey!' shouted Jobe angrily. 'This isn't cold!' The bartender muttered to himself and whisked away the warm double soda squash with a spike of ginger tinted vodka orange rind, a dash of port, a cherry on a stick and a floating umbrella, all served with a twist of lemon in a crystal half pint glass of outstanding quality.

'Hi,' said Suzi.

'Hi,' said Jobe.

* Note that I didn't (and still don't) really know much about alcoholic drinks.

Just finished: Rich Dad, Poor Dad, by Robert Kiyosaki

2006-12-23T13:10:00.000+11:00

I just finished this book. (I am only posting things I have finished, not starting!)

The downsides: not very well written, rather focused on money, and not any concrete advice - it's more strategic and motivational. The upsides: some important lessons, easy reading, and a good platform to tell me what I should next read. (I want to read about risk management, people management, starting companies, investment and strategic planning.)

Be financially detached. Don't be obsessed by money, but don't be afraid of it and say 'I don't care'. Arm yourself, learn, and get in control of it without letting it control you.
Take the road less travelled. Just because the markets do something doesn't make it a good idea. Do what makes you learn something new, because it's that knowledge that you retain that is real wealth.
Take risks. You'll lose occasionally, and win occasionally.
Become financially literate. Learn how to balance accounts, manage profit statements, and do it all in your personal finances. Also, teach your kids to be financially literate - don't hide them in a bubble of wealth.
Be creative. Look for investment opportunities by reading, researching, thinking, learning.
Invest only in things you like and believe in.
Ask: 'How can I afford it?' Don't say 'I can't afford it.'
Learn as much as possible. Read books, attend lectures and listen to audiotapes.
Do. Don't criticise other people for doing.
Start your own company. Treat your family's assets like a company.
Give. Every dollar you give will come back to you. Teach, too - you'll learn more through it.
Be humble. You have something to learn from everyone, or anything. You don't know everything, no matter where you read it.
Be disciplined. Decide how you want to live your life, set yourself goals and then just work for them. He describes this as 'paying yourself first' and then restructuring your life to be able to pay your creditors.

International Law Menu

2006-12-18T21:12:00.000+11:00

Mains
Burger Omnes (with optional cheese non grata)
Eggs Lata
Amicus Curry
Paris Pizza Accord
Union Soup

Dessert
ICESCReam
Blue beret Pie
Vienna Confection Treat

Drinks
Juice Cogens
Coffee Annan
Proto-Cola

(no marks for guessing what I'm studying...)

More bushfire sun pictures

2006-12-17T08:55:00.000+11:00

Sunset over the city, Thursday 14 December 2006

That's the sun glowing through thick smoke and casting yellow light over the city as it sets over the place where I'll be consulting next year, the Telstra building.

Some facts about the bushfires:

Australia is the most bushfire-prone country on earth
Bushfires cost Victoria $70 million a year
Australia's 2006 spring was the hottest on record
Climate change is causing longer, more aggressive bushfire seasons, and must be factored into emergency response plans for future years (according to Victoria's Emergency Services Commissioner)
Some bushfires last Thursday were deliberately lit
A typical bushfile arsonist [is] (according to criminologist Rebekah Doley)

male (though not exclusively)

in mid-to-late 20s

from a less dysfunctional family than an urban arsonist
psychologically disturbed - often suicidal or having problems with chronic anger or another sign of personality disorder, B describes themself as 'in control' at the time of lighting a fire

fascinated with power - mobilising the emergency responses, causing fear in people
not necessarily known for fascination with fire
unconcerned with consequences
a self-describe a loner
perceives themself as powerless in society
disruptive and underachieving at school not because they couldn't learn but because they chose not to
in unemployed or in short-term unskilled work
has a criminal record for property offences and arson convictions from young

HOME FOR RENT - EAST MELBOURNE

2006-12-14T15:24:00.000+11:00

Emily and I have leased a new place, and so I am moving out of my apartment. It is thus available if anyone wants to take over the lease.

Living room and kitchen bench with current furniture at night

View from the living room at sunset

Kitchen

Rent: $350pw
Lease to commence: late Dec or ASAP
Location: Tribeca apartment complex - between Albert St and Victoria Pde, East Melbourne
Secure underground carspace
Rooms: Double bedrooms with indoor wardrobes and windows in both rooms
Features: New stainless steel gas appliances, full carpeting, dishwasher, dryer, fridge, kitchen bench, electric heating, pool, gym.
Well lit corner apartment, with spectacular views of the city and north of the city.
Facilities: IGA and a restaurant on ground floor of building
Public transport access: 15 minutes walk from Parliament station and the east side of the city, 10 minutes walk from Jolimont station, and trams right outside on Victoria Pde.

Email or phone me (or if you have no details, leave a comment) for further info.

Why everyone should be an ideas person

2006-12-12T10:11:00.000+11:00

Ideas are more powerful than is commonly understood. Indeed the world is ruled by little else. Practical men, who believe themselves to be quite exempt from any intellectual influences, are usually the slaves of some defunct economist.

- John Maynard Keynes (Time bio)

It's 'official'

2006-12-11T07:29:00.000+11:00

Emily and I are getting married!!

Here's one of my favourite photos of us, on the Arts Centre bridge, a few months ago.

The date set is Feb 11, 2007, days after my final exam and nearly a month before I begin work. Perfect!

City on fire

2006-12-10T10:13:00.000+11:00

View of the sun setting over Melbourne's CBD from my apartment during the first day of the December bushfires.

older and unwiser

2006-12-10T09:26:00.000+11:00

I am having my wisdom teeth out on December 19. Here's a joke that came to me on the way home from the surgical consult.

Oral Surgeon to Dracula: 'I can fix your lisp, by cutting your incisor teeth back.'

Dracula: 'Hmm... No fangs.'

(PS. Every other photo I could have posted was far too gross!)

Business jokes

2006-11-19T23:10:00.000+11:00

I work for this company. I write summaries of business news, every day, at 5 am, based on major national and regional papers. It's full-on.

To relieve the stress of it, I write jokes in the same format and send them on to Em! Here are some of the best ones (i.e. my favourites) from the past months.

BHP Billiton - A golden retriever entered BHP headquarters and after playing with several senior executives for a while, successfully purchased the company in what has been dubbed a 'very friendly takeover'

Major Banks - Banker's licence revoked when a request for a Euromarket bonds issue resulted in him showing his Italian client his underwear

Australian Sock Exchange - The newly formed derivative ASX has formed to 'mend a hole' in the burgeoning business footwear market, avoiding unmatched pairs by promoting sock liquidity in access to a centralised market. It will launch an extended specialist women's line, the 'Australian Stocking Exchange', early next month

Telstra Corp - '3G and T3 deal needs heaps less 'e's for ease of speech' said industry spokesperson Reese Heath, the multiplicity of 'e's seeing lead TV newsies repeatedly revealing an unappealing surfeit of teeth

National Farmers' Federation - President Peter Corish - Profits - Mr Corish hailed the reported massive 80% increase in profits for milk by-products as being 'whey beyond expectations'

Reserve Bank of Australia - Governor Glenn Stevens - Wall St - Sesame St - Following a Wall St and Sesame St market crash, Mr Stevens has stepped down after less than a month in his role to allow a renowned Eastern European economist to take his place. When asked about imminent rate rises, his successor, a Count from Romania, responded by saying 'One... Two... Three... Four... Five... Six... Seven... Eight... Nine... Ten... Eleven... Twelve... Thirteen... Fourteen... Fifteen... Sixteen... Seventeen... Eighteen... Nineteen... Twenty... Twenty-one... Twenty two... Twenty three... Twenty four... Twenty five! Twenty five interest points!', laughing.

Federal Court - Indefeasibility of Title - Justice Mark Weinberg - Justice Weinberg ruled yesterday that Chuck Norris is an exception to the principle of indefeasibility. 'There are no exceptions, however, to Chuck Norris' indefeasibility', read his judgment

CSIRO - Employee Stress Levels - A CSIRO study has revealed that stressed employees, trying to cope unrealistic with expectations to absorb copious amounts of material, are reading, speaking so over-excitedly and listening that the message to such a point often garbled becomes or an unintelligibly random of sequential words to the mind, consequentially actually reducing productivity re-reading through requiring carefully

Macquarie Bank - Casualties - The third commuter casualty for toll evasion has Macbank under fire for the controversial introduction in its infrastructure assets of 'troll booths'

Minister for the Environment - Draft Environmental Laws - A raft of doubts over draft anti-drought laws laughed off by the Minister, but a rough parliamentary row caused her to cough up a row of lofty thoughts over the oft not tough route the laws allow

Ugly legal acronyms

2006-11-02T23:19:00.000+11:00

1. The BFPFVWN: Bona Fide Purchaser For Value Without Notice. (From property/contracts - a BFPFVWN defeats a prior equity)

In first year, we learned about the Reasonable Person (a post-gender abstraction - for a while it dated the Post-modernist Wymyn), graduating to the BFPFVWN in second semester contracts and second year property. In final year, in commercial law, we moved on to the Belgian Dentist. The Belgian Dentist is another mythical creature, a high-income earning European purchaser of Eurobonds, keen to minimise tax and maximise capital in playing the Euromarket. I have yet to meet one.

2. SUTNRDMWMI - So Unreasonable That No Reasonable Decision Maker Would Make It (From public law - the foundation Wednesbury unreasonableness test for the exercise of a discretion)

So magically circular. Explained in later cases, but luckily for us, only in conflicting and not very helpful ways.

3. N-JEOLOTFOTR (A Non-Jurisdictional Error Of Law On The Face Of The Record) (Public law again - a jurisdictional ground for judicial review)

Hideous! Who came up with this one! Why is it in my class notes?

Sure there are many more. Can't wait to meet 'em. I'll flash a toothy Belgian smile.

Cause for conSternation

2006-11-01T07:16:00.000+11:00

Climate change and the challenges it poses to our fragmented global economy is a problem that is increasingly Stern us in the face.

The Stern report, commissioned by the UK Government and undertaken by Sir Nicholas Stern, is a call for action in response to the increasingly self-evident statistics on climate change.

It is differentiated from other reports in that it is not just a social or scientific report, but one that is backed up with figures on current and projected economic impact.

There's even a document on the report's main page of quotes by leading economists in response to the report.

Essential reading. At least the executive summary - no wait, at least the summarised executive summary. I'll get to it in a few days after my exams.

Terra Maximus

2006-10-30T07:21:00.000+11:00

Today's pig-latin maxim of property law:

Ouyay an'tcay ivegay ayway atwhay ouyay on'tday avehay.

Walking corporate advertisement

2006-10-28T08:56:00.000+10:00

I got my first bit of corporate paraphenalia (pictured, left) on Thursday!

It's from this firm, where I'll be from March next year.

This is somewhat of a milestone. Finally a shield with which I can defent myself agains attacks from Ash's PwC umbrella...

Not as INCREDIBLY IMMEDIATELY USEFUL as the Bakers highlighters that Em gave me yesterday (pictured, right), mind you. I'm going to try to use them all up within a week, and take candy in the container to my final exam.

Slipping past your safeguards with slippery words

2006-10-26T08:34:00.000+10:00

I just finished studying 'Trusts'. Trusts forms part of the law of equity, which emerged as an autonomous curial doctrine in 14th and 15th century England. It is very, very old law, with many cases in our reading guide being hundreds of years old.

Reading the old law has led to one observation of the way in which writing has evolved: the development of structure. Structure and subheadings represent the modernisation of effective writing.

By 'effective' I don't mean poetry; I mean writing that can convey an issue, concepts, application and conclusions in a manner easily understandable and digestible by a consumer who does not even have to read every word from start to finish.

Similarly absent from old judicial writing was a clear notion of the limit to the number of propositions that one should have in a paragraph - three. First, second, third.

This, I believe, stems from the fact that the human mind cannot visualise more than three to five objects, depending on the person. Visualising eight, for example, is really visualising three and five, or four and four - unless one tries really hard, of course, but that takes more energy and time.

Old judges rarely followed this rule. First, they never used subheadings to number propositions anyway. Second, they rarely even used the ordinal numbers 'first', 'second' and so forth. Third, they often obliged - expected - the reader to wade blindly into a sea of text and to extract the propositions therefrom.

Cruel, but an incidence of the court being of high social stature and the public being uneducated and illiterate, with the consequence of the the public lacking cognisance of the notions of transparency and accountability in government, and thus not seeking to have judicial reasons made available, yet alone comprehensible.

This leads me to another observation. Have you noticed the way newspapers and news media break every story into paragraphs of usually one, but never more than two sentences?

It's very readable, but I don't think that this form of presentation evolved to serve the real purposes of effective writing.

I believe this has come about for three principal reasons. First, its bite-sized presentation is easy to read and digest by Average Joe or Jane, the layperson whose market share the newspaper has progressively lost to other media. Second, it avoids the necessity of following a rigorous, essay like structure, thus keeping an easy presentation that allows any reader to jump in anywhere and follow, or to skim - an essential element for keeping advertising value, as people will not even look at a page which is just one big solid block of text. Third, and most insidiously, the fragmented machine-gun presentation gently bludgeons the reader into a false sense of security and allows the writer's ideas to slip past the audience's developed senses of logic and deconstruction, because the structure evades logic and is already in deconstructed form.

It's ingenious. I think I want to read about this more.

Or maybe I'll just write more!

Clearly I have a Trusts exam today...

2006-10-25T09:04:00.000+10:00

A Melbourne Zoo employee is being charged for tax fraud for dumping millions into an overseas bank account held in the name of a dolphin kept at the zoo.

The dolphin, or 'Lucy' as she is affectionately known, is loved especially for her starring role in fundraisers the zoo conducts for a local children's hospital. The employee in question is her caretaker.

'I don't understand, I thought that this would count as a trust for a charitable porpoise,' he reportedly said in pleadings.

Riaz resorting to cannibalism

2006-10-18T10:56:00.000+10:00

I just think this photo is hilarious. Lost in Moreton Island, Riaz goes mad with hunger and eats our brother Samand. Of course posed, but just ridiculous how quickly/easily they posed for it, I barely had to ask!

Quote of the day

2006-10-17T13:54:00.000+10:00

'Did you ever expect a corporation to have a conscience, when it has no soul to be damned, and no body to be kicked?' - Lord Chancellor Baron Thurlow

These words, attributed to the Lord Chancellor in the late 18th century, were part of his reasoning that since a company has 'no duties of piety and true religion', it cannot be compelled to observe the Sunday Observance Act 1677 (UK) and refrain from trading on the sabbath.

Chuck Norris quips by me and Riaz

2006-10-15T18:51:00.000+10:00

It all started with an email from a friend, with jokes about some 80's karate movie hero, Chuck Norris. Now Riaz and I find ourselves SMSing each other stupid jokes of our own... copied are the best ones, below. (probably more to come, later)

I actually have a hankering for one of his movies...!

Curiosity killed the cat. Chuck Norris then killed curiosity. - Dana

Some people can swallow swords. Chuck Norris once swallowed Toledo, but he spat it out, because Chuck Norris doesn't eat the Spanish. - Riaz

For Chuck Norris, what goes around comes a roundhouse. - Riaz

One time, in band camp, Chuck Norris killed everyone in band camp. - Dana

In 1929, Einstein was trumped by Chuck Norris when he published his Theory of Relatively Painless Roundhouse Kicks to the Face. His theory was quickly disproven. - Dana

The secret to Chuck Norris's perfect poached eggs is to gently roundhouse kick each egg into a pan of simmering engine oil. - Dana

The early bird gets the worm. The early Chuck Norris eats the bird. - Riaz

In his part time job as a barista, Chuck Norris always serves freshly groundhouse coffee. - Dana

A tiny butterfly flapping its wings on the other side of the planet can cause cyclones and tsunamis, which can then cause Chuck Norris. - Dana

A pot watched by Chuck Norris not only boils, it melts out of shear terror.

The telegraph was actually invented by Chuck Norris, who famously used it to deliver a roundhouse kick across the atlantic to Alexander Graham Bell, who uttered 'What hast Thou wrought?' before dying from facial trauma. Chuck Norris replied, 'Please, call me God.' - Riaz

Ansell bounces back

2006-10-14T10:39:00.000+10:00

This in the paper yesterday, Ansell has bounced back, the recent rise in rubber prices having led to a rise in rubber prices. It is a change that investors are embracing after last year's hard times, caused by the jump in the Malaysian latex market and the consequential cut-back plans and abortive rebranding initiative.

The upward climb in share value has seen analysts expecting significant sustainable growth for the company, which is operating in a pharmaceuticals market pregnant with possibilities, though stiff with competition.

In a seminal shareholder report, chief executive Harry Boon commented that the protectionist contraceptives market had oft sheathed real value amid misconceptions of poor performance, preventing true results from emerging. However, he stated that investors can now expect real long-term performance to occur.

Costello on global warming

2006-10-12T16:27:00.000+10:00

Two articles today - one big picture, one small picture - on the business case for corporate social responsibility.

Though official government policy on addressing global warming hasn't changed, I noticed these interesting comments in this article (Tim Colebatch, 'Worst Drought Ever, tips Treasurer', The Age, 12 October 2006, 1) from an interview conducted by The Age with Federal Treasurer Peter Costello:

In a speech the previous night to the Energy Supply Association of Australia, Mr Costello, while endorsing Government policy on global warming, added a strong personal view that reducing it should be a priority along with economic growth.
"My view is that, as the hottest and driest continent on Earth, we have an interest in not making Australia hotter or drier," he told energy industry leaders.

"Our energy policy must strike an appropriate balance between our environmental responsibilities and continuing economic growth."

There's no need for a balance; there's no conflict between the environmental responsibilities and economic growth. Australia is getting hotter and drier, we're experiencing the worst drought ever, and farmers are relying on subsidies. Help stop global warming and you help the interests of Australian farmers.

On the same day, The Age ran an article (Leon Gettler, 'Tax Breaks Urged for SMEs', The Age, October 12 2006, 5) on CPA Australia's call for tax breaks to SMEs as an incentive to engage in 3BL reporting.

These articles are becoming frequent enough that The Age has a dedicated subheading it used, titled 'Enlightened Shareholder Approach' or something to that effect.

I finally read Corin v Patton!

2006-08-22T17:24:00.000+10:00

Seven years in uni, three years in law school, and I have finally read Corin v Patton. After somehow avoiding it in Contracts, Property and Equity through asking lecturers, co-students and reading case summaries, I have finally read it for Trusts in the last semester of my degree. And it feels good. I even read the judgments by judges who 'agreed' with the proposition that I need!

The fundamental proposition, which it turns out I understood from square 1 back in Contracts in 2004, is - just for those people who just want to 'perform a Google search' for it (why, oh why Google Corporation, can't we just say 'google it'?) instead of reading it:

If an intending donor of property has done everything which is necessary for the donor to have done to effect a transfer of legal title, then equity will recognise the gift. - Corin v Patton (1990) 169 CLR 540 in the High Court of Australia, per Mason CJ and McHugh J

Of course, when one begins to ask questions like 1) what is entailed in 'everything necessary for the donor to have done', 2) the difference between what a donor must do and what the donor has power to do (e.g. if the donor is or isn't infirm), or 3) what the difference is between an equitable proprietary interest and a statutory right to registration of an interest, you realise you'll just have to go and read the case, and probably also its precedential antecedents...

2006-08-20T08:39:00.000+10:00

Here's an interesting article (Kenneth Nguyen, 'Bikini-clad celebrities stripped bare by privacy laws', The Age, August 19, 2006) I just enjoyed reading about Australian privacy laws, their contrast with their UK and USA counterparts, and why they couldn't prevent Ralph magazine from exercising its copyright and publishing bikini photos of Isabel Lucas, despite her ongoing objections that she has been raising for five years since the magazine first asked her to pose.

Telstra's Obligations?

2006-08-12T14:37:00.000+10:00

Aside from the profit interests which are Telstra's primary motivators in recent moves to scrap upgrades of our copper line network, there are significant social and economic flow-on effects from decisions by major players like Telstra.

An article in The Age (August 12, 2006) quoted IT entrepreneur Lloyd Ernst criticising even the high-end technology behind the now-scrapped fibre to the node ('FTTN') network which was to be put in place by Alcaltel under the former $4 billion agreement, contrasting it with superior technology being put in place in China.

In Australia, (it) is the 2 kilometres back to your local telephone exchange... China's telecommunications infrastructure is designed for the future — they're building the fibre-optic highway so that later, when they have to upgrade services, they won't be digging up the streets or relying on old cabling — and that's what Australia is missing.

Telstra's decision earlier this week (summarised in Stephen Bartholomeusz's article, 'Trujillo must call a ceasefire if T3 is to fly', The Age, August 12, 2006) to drop FTTN plans after raising concerns about the ACCC's pricing scheme is arguably in the best interests of creditors (including shareholders), which our law requires to be the principal conseration of corporate directors. Their decision, they say, is a pragmatic one, in light of prohibitive competition regulations proposed by the ACCC. However, choosing not to build an FTTN infrastructure is not necessarily in the interests of Australia's economy or society. Vodafone, Optus, Virgin and other players are not in a position to independently lay the fibre necessary to upgrade Australia's telecommunications network and prepare it for the future.

One possible conclusion of all this is that the Government, who do have social obligations and should be aware of Telstra's importance, should, through the ACCC, work to ensure that Telstra is in a position to make positive contributions. Media releases and official directors' statements do not provide enough real information to show whether regulatory decisions are made in light of effects other than impact on competition. Under current corporations law, however, corporations are under no obligation to pay regard to social stakeholders - in fact, if shareholders object (as in most cases they do when it affects share prices or dividends negatively), to pay attention to them would be an outright contravention of the law.

Should corporates consider stakeholders other than investors and creditors? This is the question that was the subject of a recent inquiry by the Parliamentary Joint Committee on Corporations and Financial Services, who released their report Corporate Responsibility: Managing risk and creating value (PDF 1124KB) on 21 June 2006.

The report examined, among many things, whether Australia's legal framework permits consideration of stakeholders other than shareholders. On pages xiii-xiv of the Executive Summary (emphasis added):

A number of interpretations of the current legislative framework regarding the duties of directors were provided to the committee. At one end of the scale was the view, made prominent in the case concerning James Hardie Industries, that a director would be failing in his or her duties if consideration was given to any factors other than maximising profit. At the other end of the scale, the 'enlightened self-interest' interpretation of directors' duties argues that directors may consider and act upon the legitimate interests of stakeholders other than shareholders, to the extent that these interests are relevant to the corporation.

This 'enlightened self-interest' interpretation is favoured by the committee. Evidence received suggests that those companies already undertaking responsible corporate behaviour are being driven by factors that are clearly in the interests of the company. Maintaining and improving company reputation was cited as an important factor by companies, many of whom recognise that when corporate reputation suffers there can be significant business costs. Evidence also strongly suggested that an 'enlightened self-interest approach' assists companies in their efforts to recruit and retain high quality staff, particularly in the current tight labour market.

Hardie was examined in a recent article in the Sydney Morning Herald on whether anything would stop another Hardie from occurring ('Nothing to stop another Hardie', SMH, August 7, 2006). While reforms in directors duties might soon allow directors to be liable for torts committed by corporations, imposing positive responsibilities is another question. The report mentioned above did mention, alongside the conclusion that our legislative framework permits the 'enlightened self-interest approach', that corporate social responsibility should be encouraged both at the company and the shareholder/investor level, through education and broader reporting mechanisms.

Key industry players certainly agree. BHP Billiton chairman Don Argus, in a speech at the Investment and Financial Services Association conference on the Gold Coast last week, said that techniques to 'manage the drivers of internal value creation — the measures of economic profit or total investment return — in themselves are insufficient in ensuring success in terms of total shareholder return'. Quoted in Marc Moncrief's article (The Age, August 5, 2006)

I've noticed that many companies report shareholder value-adding programs and (the report) is all concentrated around the economic profit. In doing so, they imply that a dollar extra in economic profit has equal value to shareholders no matter how it is generated. The reality is that the market looks at a number of indicators of corporate performance, which vary from industry to industry, and rewards those companies who create value by focusing on those specific indicators.

BHP chief executive Chip Goodyear put social responsibility in dollar terms, by stating that 'corporate social responsibility is in the best interests of our shareholders and is fundamental to profit creation and sustainability', pointing to boosting of investor (and voter) confidence and greater attraction of a quality workforce. In an article in The Age (July 27, 2006) Mr. Goodyear concludes that

BHP Billiton realised a long time ago that working in partnership with communities is more than about being a good corporate citizen. It's a powerful competitive differentiator. It has the potential to establish us as the company of choice, giving us better access to markets, natural resources and the best and brightest employees. By doing so, we can maximise profits for our shareholders (keeping the Friedman adherents happy) while also ensuring we do the right thing by those who are impacted by our business.

Players in the Telstra/ACCC standoff should sit up and pay attention. Sure, copper wire brings in profits, even though they're steadily falling. High margins drives away competition. However, what other indicators of corporate performance are their aside from profits for Australia's biggest telco? What advantages does less competition bring? If T3 goes ahead as planned, many more shareholders will be in a position to tell the directors to invest in Australia's economy and society. Let's hope they do.

Picasso in 15 minutes

2006-08-12T14:33:00.000+10:00

Calling it 'Picasso' is going a bit far... but the NGV's latest blockbuster exhibition (to which I still haven't gone) prompted me to finally try the Mr Picassohead website out. See if you can guess who it's a picture of!

Art as an investment strategy

2006-08-05T10:44:00.000+10:00

Maybe because I saw dance last night ('Complexions' at the Arts Centre) or because I'm going to the Gallery Gabrielle Pizzi today, but I'm fascinated by this article ('Art of Gold', The Age, August 5, 2006) on using art as part of an investment portfolio. Seems like an excellent way of combining an art collection hobby and self-managing your own super fund! However, there are costs. As 'art lover and chartered accountant' Arthur Coe recommends:

A diverse portfolio of art will probably go up by 7 per cent a year, he says, but fails to earn an income, so a 10 to 12 per cent return from property and shares is a safer pure investment strategy.

Other advice by Alison Harper, publisher of The Australian Art Market Report:

Buy non-living artists on the secondary market, and stay with the contemporary galleries to buy contemporary art. Anything rare and very fine quality... Now and again you get fashion trends and I am very wary of them. I think collectors, if they go for fashion trends, will be caught out from an investment point of view.

An interesting point is the effect that might be created if evidence of an intention to create a trust is ever challeneged legally. The article suggests that the notion that anything bought with a super fund cannot benefit the beneficiary before retirement might mean that an artwork bought under the fund could not be displayed in the home of the beneficiary. Oh no! Something to be resolved before going out to Sotheby's.

How to reinforce gender stereotypes and drive away valuable human resources

2006-08-05T10:31:00.000+10:00

I was scandalised by this article in the Age ('Geek goddesses or calendar girls?' The Age, July 9 2006), about an initiative called the 'Screen Goddesses IT Calendar', which purports (among other things) to 'raise awareness of the diversity of women in IT' and to otherwise encourage women to take up technology studies.

The project's founder, Sonja Bernhardt, is the only Australian to have been inducted in Technology International's hall of fame, and the co-founder of Australian Women in IT.

The purposes are laudable indeed, but the means here are misguided. Taking talented and driven women in the IT industry and reducing them to calendar pin-ups is going to 1) trivialise the cultural impact of their professional achievements by reducing any evaluation to one of their presentation and 2) reinforce the prevalent conception amongst many male IT professionals that it is a male industry where women's prerogatives come second. The cumulative effect will be that overall, talented and driven women will be even less inclined to join the industry.

The industry can only move forwards in this respect by encouraging respect and a genuine appreciation of diversity, and this initiative is unlikely to help.

Who is Jackie Fisher?

2006-05-15T23:28:00.000+10:00

The secret code hidden in the judgment by Justice Peter Smith, in his April 7 ruling in the very public case by the authors of Holy Blood, Holy Grail, Michael Baigent and Richard Leigh against Random House for its publication of Dan Brown's The Da Vinci Code, has been cracked.

The case, famous for being hinged on the potentially disastrous (if successful) premise that one who has a 'central theme' copied in future artistic works can have a successful claim in copyright, was unsuccessful in the end.

However, the case gained even more notoriety when Justice Smith was founded to have secreted a code into his judgment, made obvious by random accents and italicisations in the published document. After numerous hints, the cipher was ultimately broken, as discussed in this article by renowned cryptologist Bruce Schneier (who received an anectodal reference in the novel).

The cipher was a combinatio of one used in The Da Vinci Code involving the Fibonacci series, and another in Holy Blood, Holy Grail involving an alphabet transposition of two characters.

The sequence of unusual characters was deciphered to read 'Smithy Code Jackie Fisher who are you Dreadnought.' (For more information on this slightly oddball message, see this article in the Times UK.)

2006-05-05T02:09:00.000+10:00

Blog update

Benvenuti tutti al mio blog!

... that's Italian for 'something something something blog!'

I write my first blog entry to the steady sound of Tuscan rain - fitting, as I left Melbourne two weeks ago with the sky painted the same colour. My sojourn here in Prato (a smaller industrial town near Florence in the Tuscan region of Italy) began two weeks ago and will continue until mid July. Prato has all the features of an Italian city without the annoyance of tourists, except for the small hoard of Monash students. There are about 40 of us, and it can sometimes feel like we're a little Australian diaspora of our own! In two weeks I have experienced a lot, and I will explain it in a brief recapitulation of the five aspects of most relevant to me: university, politics/culture, people, food and language.

Uni is great. I'm taking four electives - currently International Human Rights Law, which is fascinating. I'm finding myself more and more intrigued by this whole discipline and generally more open to working in these (i.e. UN) circles! It's very intense. The study period before exams is only two days and I'm doing the paper this weekend (well, I would be if I weren't typing this) on the legality of the Iraqi invasion. My next two subjects, Comparative European Legal Systems and International Commercial Arbitration, run concurrently over four weeks, and my final one, The Law of Financial Transactions is an intensive three week one. They all sound great!

Italian politics is fascinating. It's hard for me to keep up with it along with uni and socialising - it's tiring reading a paper in Italian! I liken the present government's situation somewhat to an Italian car's manner of navigating a two-lane freeway - going faster than the infrastructure can handle, without picking definitively whether it'll stay on the left or right. Add the fact that a discussion in Italy sounds like what we'd call a heated argument verging on violence in Australia and you have a fiery political scene. The strained currency and increasing foreign debt leaves Italy as fragile as it hoped to be robust after the last President's leadership, and has people musing to me that they are looking more and more towards living abroad rather than in Italy. Prodi's time as President will be interesting - he has to convince everyone that the Euro was a good idea and bring his party together at the same time. Interesting period. Culturally - well, I think I will blog about this later. I am just starting to explore the galleries, cathedrals, monuments and frescoes. More later!

I'm meeting some great people. Italians in Prato at least are warm, gentle and so, so respectful in their speech. It's nice to be making some interesting friends in law! The person I clearly know best is Chris, a student I met on the first day as he complained about being the eldest, though it turns out I'm a few months older than him. We now share a room in a tiny, well lit apartment with a view of terra-cotta rooftops (amazing for us but only so-so to actual Italians), right off the Piazza del Duomo (the main cathedral/square of the city) so we're in the middle of everything. I'm sure most Melbourners reading this will eventually meet him and will concur that he's a great guy! The Baha'i community is small but strong - 25 or so and some strong stayers mean that I get lots of support and lifts to things. They're lending me sheets! I would also have a place to stay if I were a girl... there is always that confusion to iron out, it seems. Apart from that, our Romanian neighbours are wonderfully warm, though they really, really didn't understand that I don't drink at all!

SO MANY FAST CARBS. Pasta, white bread, sweets... my only saving grace is my new gym membership and the feeble hope that the huge amount of coffee I'm taking will speed up my metabolism. The food here is delicious but deadly. Well, the pizza is so-so, I think Melbourne really has mastered this art, and the pasta is Melbourne quality on my budget. However, the sweets, the gelati and the coffee are incredible! I have had so many macchiatos I am losing count. Well I would, but I am keeping the receipts!

And I never thought I'd learn Italian, as it's barely the national language for this tiny country alone! - and also part of Swizerland, granted. It was another story when I got here, and the same thing happened to me as to another friend - I heard it spoken, and I fell in love with using it - singing it - at every opportunity. I came only barely understanding the structure and having a basic vocabulary, but being my third romance language and fifth language altogether, and also being a bit older and bolder personally, I am not afraid of venturing out, making mistakes and am thus finding it improving rapidly. It's beautiful in its meter, rich in its expressive structure and elegant in the diverse complexity of available phrase and word forms. I am contemplating coming back here to study it intensively! The only ugly thing about it are the words that start with 's' then a consonant.

I miss you all. The cold rain on the day of my departure in no way diminishes the warmth that thoughts of friends at home brings to me. I know. Beautiful huh?

I will try to blog more regularly!

Australian values

2006-04-11T22:07:00.000+10:00

An interesting discussion on Australian muslims and global conflict including the quite prolific Waleed Aly and a relative newcomer to the scene, Maher Mughrabi, revisited the notions of the 'clash of civilisations' and the debate on the increasingly complex position of the 'Australian Muslim'. Both speakers tore apart the notion of the clash of civilisations, saying how it implied that there were only two civilisations, that both were established and totally dichotomous - all of which are imprecise. They also refused to accept that there was any one form of an 'Australian Muslim', citing past approximations that statistically were way off the mark.

Both speakers also made numerous references to a speech given by Treasurer Peter Costello to the Sydney Institute on 23 February 2006, in which he likened the requirement of accepting 'Australian values' on entering Australia to the respect that people show to a mosque upon entering by removing their shoes.

Before entering a mosque visitors are asked to take off their shoes. This is a sign of respect. If you have a strong objection to walking in your socks don't enter the mosque. Before becoming an Australian you will be asked to subscribe to certain values. If you have strong objections to those values don't come to Australia.

These comments are alarming, if somewhat taken out of context: Costello's address was, after all, primarily responding to the issues of terrorism and statements by an Australian Islamic cleric who stated that the problem at the heart of violent responses was that there is Australian law, and Islamic law.

It begs the question though: whose values?

Sugar-free banking

2006-04-07T15:03:00.000+10:00

In early February, nab Australia's new gun CEO, Ahmed Fahour, finally revealed what he described as being the 'worst kept secret in business' - the rebranding of the former National Australia Bank to what everyone knows it as: the 'nab'. This came with a snazzy new logo, shown to the right.

Almost concurrently, Coca-cola was in the process of unveiling their new product, Coca-cola Zero. Their new bottling and packaging, which adorns almost as many billboards and tram stops as nab's new logo, is shown below to the left. Notice any similarities between the two new brands?

I finally figured it out when I caught an East Melbourne tram a couple of weeks ago which was right opposite a nab building. 'Ah,' I thought, 'no wonder I get thirsty every time I pass a nab branch!'

What's happening to boys?

2006-04-05T18:46:00.000+10:00

Boys are becoming more and more apathetic and unmotivated, wrote author Leonard Sax in a column in the Washington Post on March 31.

This isn't a total surprise - after all, it is semi-common knowledge that girls consistently outperform boys in the state university entrance tests - in 2005 it was the fourth year in a row in Victoria, the Age reported on December 15 2005. More women were admitted to Victorian law schools and med schools, too. Sax's claims are startling:

According to the Census Bureau, fully one-third of young men ages 22 to 34 are still living at home with their parents -- a roughly 100 percent increase in the past 20 years. No such change has occurred with regard to young women.

The full article can be found here.

Telstra and Social Responsibility

2006-03-28T09:16:00.000+11:00

In 2005, the Parliamentary Joint Committee on Corporations and Financial Services began an inquiry into corporate responsibility, in which they are investigating the current and possible proposed degrees to which company directors should have regard to stakeholders other than shareholders - i.e. the community and the environment - and the legal, regulatory and other frameworks therefor. Submissions closed in September 2005, and the report will be issued in 2006.

On Monday, Telstra company secretary Douglas Gration told the inquiry at a public hearing in Canberra that the proposals would be unlikely to help. The Age reported:

"As soon as you regulate, for example ... our engagement with philanthropic organisations it very much turns into a sort of compliance concept," Mr Gration said.

"I don't believe it's beneficial - putting that in place would lose a lot of the good initiatives that are out there at the moment.

"It would become much more boxed in."

Positive comments from Telstra - and they do have a lot to do with extending rural phone and internet networks, sometimes wresting parliament in to acceeding to the huge funding they need for it. Full report on the Age's observations can be found here.

Rich state, poor state; red state, blue state

2006-03-16T08:56:00.000+11:00

The flipside to any criticism of hypocrisy on one side of any policital debate may be, ironically, that the same criticism could be made of the other side. An intriguing article on political leanings and the class war in different states in the US by E. J Dionne Jr in the Washington Post describes a political science paper co-written by Andrew Gelman, Boris Shor, Joseph Bafumi and David Park in which voting patterns are analysed to cast light on common conceptions of what kinds of people vote for which parties.

Our results can be viewed either as a debunking of
the journalistic image of rich “latte” Democrats and poor “Nascar ” Republicans, or as support for the journalistic images of political and cultural differences between red and blue states— differences which are not explained by differences in individuals’ incomes.

In Dionne Jr's article, he writes:

each side is waging a class war in condemning the other as nauseatingly privileged. Yes, these are both parodies. But parodies are weapons in political battles, so it's important to assess the relative truth of each side's claims.

I agree that the class war can be used as a 'weapon' in political battles. Perhaps what needs to be further acknowledged is how political battles further polarise the public - entrenching the class war as a social reality. It's all food for thought...

The rise of development corporations

2006-03-15T12:17:00.000+11:00

The March 13 issue of Harvard Business School's Working Knowledge featured an interview with HBS professor emeritus George C. Lodge on a concept that he first brought to light in an article in Foreign Affairs in 2002, later reprinted in Working Knowledge, on the idea of a 'World Development Corporation'. He argues that non-profits aren't the answer to ending poverty, and that executives need to look beyond philanthropy to make sustainable change in impoverished countries.

An emerging culture of 'Howard hating'

2006-03-08T00:44:00.000+11:00

An interesting article on 'Howard hating' in the Sydney Morning Herald, and a reflection on the pitfalls of narrow minded thinking.

Far be it from me to enter a political debate. Please do not construe linking this article as being indicative of a political leaning - in fact, I dare say that gist of the article is not the advocacy of a political standpoint, but rather a criticism of a genre of bandwangon critique in general - a line of criticism with which I couldn't agree more. During the last US federal elections I recall one commentator noting the hypocrisy of many supporters of the American Democrats when they labelled anyone with Republican leanings as being narrow-minded and uneducated redneck bigots. Similar thing here: I think Australia has been experiencing starker contrasts in its political landscape in the last few years (or has it been me getting older and more observant?) with an associated increasing tendency to just jump on board with the group that seems most convenient. Not as intelligent or broad minded as some would like to believe. Worth a read.

The cultural impact of Wikipedia on China

2006-02-22T07:48:00.000+11:00

An interesting article in the Washington Post from February 19 talks about the social impact of Wikipedia on China and Chinese people before officials banned it, rather than simply focusing on the 'free speech' debate.

When the site was blocked in 2004, he had submitted a similar letter, and access had been quickly restored. Since then, the Chinese-language edition of Wikipedia had grown, broadening its appeal not only as a reference tool but also as a forum where people across China and the Chinese diaspora could gather, share knowledge and discuss even the most divisive subjects.

First Australian Baha'i Legal Conference

2006-02-14T21:05:00.000+11:00

The first Australian Baha'i Legal Conference came to a close on Sunday February 12, 2006. This is the beginning of what I hope will be a series of great conferences at which, hopefully, we'll see Baha'is and others presenting papers from all legal fields from Baha'i-inspired and other socially conscious perspectives. This conference featured New Zealand's Judge Heather Simpson, our own Graham Richardson QC and a variety of other lawyers and scholars presenting on issues such as human rights, indigenous intellectual property, criminal law and corporate/legal ethics. I would like to see future conferences in which professionals and academics from a variety of legal fields - such as tax, corporate, competition, IP, employment, government, environment, business, family and property - will present papers on these fields but from different perspectives.

Many fascinating people attended - approximately half of whom were under the age of 30. Great things to come!